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This essential, fun, insightful guide to living and loving will help you navigate the complexities of modern society's myriad nontraditional relationships.
With nearly 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, a growing percentage of women over age forty choosing not to have children, and more than 3 percent of the population identifying as LGBT, modern life is clearly in need of some modern relationship advice. Sex from Scratch analyzes the facets of contemporary relationships through the struggles, opinions, and experiences of a diverse group of individuals living in nontraditional relationships. Rather than telling readers how to snag a partner and find ''true love,'' it gleans real-life knowledge from people of all sexualities and genders - including individuals trying to make open relationships work to those who have opted against having children - distilling their hard-earned wisdom. Contributions from Andi Zeisler, Stu Rasmussen, Betty Dodson, and others make this love and dating guidebook an essential, fun, and insightful resource for anyone in any type of relationship.
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- Published on: 2015-01-13
- Formats: Audiobook, MP3 Audio
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.25" h x 5.25" w x .50" l,
- Running time: 19800 seconds
- Binding: MP3 CD
- 1 pages
Review
"realistic, smart and helpful. Its wisdom will be of great benefit to teenagers and young adults who are trying to figure out dating, sexual attraction and, well, sexuality itself." —Eleanor J. Bader, truth-out.org
About the Author
Sarah Mirk is an editor for the national feminist magazine Bitch, for which she writes on issues of race, class, and sexuality. She was formerly a staff writer for the weekly newspapers the Portland Mercury and the Stranger. In addition to traditional reporting, Mirk also writes nonfiction comics ranging from personal stories of female Guantanamo detainees to Oregon History Comics, a series of small press comics about Oregon's past. She lives in Portland, Oregon.
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Most helpful customer reviews
30 of 30 people found the following review helpful.
We Need More Books Like This
By Dan Copulsky
First off, this book includes an awesome collection of interviews. I was particularly excited for to see contributions from three great sex educators, Tristan Taormino, Wendy-O Matik, and Betty Dodson, and awesome comic artist Erika Moen.
The book is broken into seven chapters. Each of these chapters contains practical advice for navigating relationships. Most of these chapters also challenge the view that relationships should all progress in the same direction, towards an exclusive permanent marriage with children.
Loving Being Single suggests that you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. Navigating Non-Monogamy tackles the idea that exclusivity is always preferable. Staying Childless by Choice takes on the pressure for everyone to have kids. On Never Getting Married discusses the reasons for not forming a legal union. And Knowing When To Split faces how sometimes ending a relationships is the best option.
Two chapters are a bit different. Building Feminist Relationships and Gender is Messy contend with gender roles and gender identity, and look for positive ways to take on gender issues to build positive relationships.
We need more books like this. We need more books that acknowledge that one kind of relationship doesn't work for everyone, and that people can define relationships on their own terms. And we just need more books that talk about non-monogamy, not getting married, and not having kids.
We need more books that incorporate feminism into advice for daily life too. We need more books that examine how to have positive, progressive relationships. We need more books that challenge how we conduct intimate relationships in critical ways. And we need more books that do all that with honesty, sincerity, and humor.
My biggest complaint about the book is the territory it doesn't explore. The introduction makes passing references to asexuality and kink, but I'd like to hear more. I'd like to hear more about other ways people buck relationships conventions too, like couples that decide to keep separate residences or spend more time apart.
I also wish it examined more of the ways these topics overlap, like the options for raising children within a nonmonogamous relationship, or specific challenges of not being married if you do have kids. And I wish the book looked closer at where taking these less common routes made it harder or easier to build feminist relationships.
There's so much this book didn't cover, but that's not really a flaw. There's a lot it does include, and it builds groundwork that could lead to more. As I said, we need more books like this.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
A book I'll be talking about with people for years to come
By adam
This book is amazing! I've never read anything like it. Get five copies of it so you can share.
Mirk has a gift for asking questions that lead to productive conversations. I can't imagine a better quality for a writer to bring to a book exploring present-day relationships.
Sex from Scratch is honest without being didactic from the very first paragraph: "Look, I don't know what I'm doing. Most advice books are written by people who say they're experts and they sell you on the notion that there are secrets inside that will transform your life. I have to tell you some bad news: I'm no expert. There are no secrets here. Only you can change your life. Sorry."
The blend of Mirk's openness with the "good insights, practical advice, and admissions of honest mistakes" in the book's interviews engaged me in a way that slipped right past my defenses. I was having loads of insights and conversations before I was halfway through.
Through interviews and personal reflection, the book touches on many facets of "making your own relationship rules"-- popular relationship narratives, building feminist relationships, the value of taking care of yourself, navigating non-monogamy, marriage, gender, and much more.
I'd love to give this book to a parent or kid just starting to talk about relationships, because it's straightforward and empowering. It's clear that Mirk wants the best for her readers and sees information and communication as the best ways to get there.
Regardless of who you are (or aren't) and where you are (or aren't) in a relationship, this book will give you tools, models, and conversation points to better understand relationships and move forward intentionally.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
A breath of fresh air
By felis notatus
Because it's not clear from my user name, I'm a woman. Born in 1969, for age perspective relative to the various waves of feminism. I have indeed been forging my own relationship rules for some time, but I have come up against some trying times with regards to sexism in my marriage even though my husband and I have gone to lengths to craft a meaningful, unconventional relationship according to our rules. Reading other women's very thoughtful, not-at-all-kneejerk reflections on the sexism in their relationships lifted a huge weight off my shoulders that I hadn't even realized was there. I'm very grateful for this book, typos notwithstanding.
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